for the thief within me
The Rome Song “The Accidents of Gesture” speaks to the darker aspects within me and my desire to know the “thief for hire” within. I could call her my inner femme fatale, as she is a bit of a thug. She looks for the Nick Cage to match her Holly Hunter. She likes rude boys who wear golf caps, have a sleeve of colorful tattoos, enjoy picket lines, listen to conscious hip-hop, and have pride in their working-class roots.
I acknowledge these arguably fetishistic desires exist within me. I seek to make peace with them and to move forward in my life toward more stable goals and relationships. I seek a monogamous coupling that will be real, accepting, and as unconditional as humanly possible.
R and I are talking of counselling (that is, talking of talking about stuff that’s not easy to talk about). I married a very patient man in October of 2001. We’re separated now, but that doesn’t mean we can’t move forward together in ways that will be loving and honest. Building intimacy after a series of affairs of the heart on both sides will not be easy, but that’s the trajectory I’ll follow with all the tenacity I can muster.